Is it Helpful?

During therapy the other day we got to discussing how one talks to one’s self. It basically came around to how I am my own worst critic. I am always putting myself down and thinking I can never do things. Some of it is my own creative thinking telling me these things, and some of it, are the voices of others from my life telling me their doubts in my capabilities, and the mean things that they have said to me over the course of my life. And it doesn’t help that when I am psychotic and hearing voices, they tend to tell me some of the worst things that people have ever said about me…including things I’ve said about me and sometimes the voices get creative and tell me insults I’ve never even thought of before.

So, after we talked a little while about how I am my own worst critic we talked a little bit about how I think about these negative thoughts. And my therapist had kind of a challenge for me…a kind of new approach to my negative thinking that I think I’m gonna try. He said instead of getting caught up in whether or not these thoughts are true or not why don’t you ask yourself is this thought helpful? I thought that this is a strange way to look at it. But really it’s not. He said that if you decide that this thought that you’ve had isn’t helpful then you label it as unhelpful and then you move on. Now that doesn’t mean that you won’t think of it again, but that does mean that when it pops back into your head you go, “Oh there’s that unhelpful thought again…I can just put that away and move on to a more helpful thought.” Now, I know that’s easier said than done and it’s gonna take some practice, but I’m willing to give it a shot.

You see I think I get caught up too much in trying to convince myself whether or not a thought I have is true or false. And by labeling something helpful or unhelpful and can save myself some time and effort. Now, like I said, I know this way of thinking is gonna take some practice, but I think that it might actually help me not be so controlled by so many negative thoughts that I have. By simple labeling a thought as helpful or unhelpful, I can push it aside and move forward with whatever I’m doing.

So, I think I’m gonna give it a shot. It’s not gonna be easy. I got 29 years of doing it the old way…you know trying to figure out if something is true or false. But I’m thinking this knew way of thinking might be better. Wish me luck guys,

Randi