Some Myths about Mental Illness

I was sitting in a classroom tonight listening to some fellow classmates discuss the pressures of school and life. Let me say first that I am in an adult studies program. Each class we take is only one night a week and lasts 8 weeks. These classes are fast paced and can sometimes seem a little overwhelming, but with some hard work and time management it is perfectly possible to go to these classes at night and work during the day. I see many professional adults achieve this and excel at it. With that said one woman began to discuss some issues with her mom. She complained that her daughter and mother were fighting and it was driving her crazy. She said that her daughter was pregnant during this conversation and I told her that perhaps it was the pregnancy making it different for her mother and daughter to get along, because I know, from being around other pregnant woman that pregnancy can play with your emotions. This ladies response caught me a little off guard she said “Oh no, it’s not my daughter, it’s my mother that’s the problem, she’s crazy, she’s bipolar.” I was quiet for a moment as I took in the insult. I am bipolar.

I am bipolar and hope that those who know me do not think that I am “crazy” or “the problem.” I debated internally what to say to this situation, half of my class was listening in to us and I found myself presented with an opportunity to squash some misunderstanding that can be, and often times are, associated with bipolar disorder, as well as other mental illnesses. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: I’m bipolar.

Her: Oh, my mom is really bipolar.

Me: I am really bipolar.

Her: Well my mom has it bad. They were going to put her in the hospital and everything, but she had someone help her out of it.

Me: I have been in a hospital. Multiple times.

Her: Oh. But you seem so happy.

Me: I am happy, but I also am heavily medicated.

Her: Well my mom doesn’t take her meds.

Me: I understand that. People that have bipolar disorder often times miss the high manic moods. It is really a wonderful feeling being manic, you feel on top of the world, like nothing matters and you can do anything and everything and you will do anything and everything. It’s very fun.

Her: I don’t have time for manic episodes.

Me: I understand, but I know how important it is to take meds.

Her: Yeah, it is very important.

Me: I miss the highs but I am also acutely aware of how dangerous they can be. I know that the higher I climb the harder I will fall and that the longer it goes the more psychotic I will get. I don’t want to ever be that way again, so I choose to take my meds.

Then we got into a conversation about medications that I won’t go into here, but my point here is that this woman judged every individual that has bipolar disorder on one un-medicated woman. So now I would like to stomp on a few myths about people that have a mental illness.

Myth #1: People who have a mental illness are dangerous.

Truth: Nope, we are not dangerous, at least not when we are taking care of ourselves. And typically when we are dangerous, we are more dangerous to ourselves than to anyone else. So don’t go around thinking that someone with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder are walking time bombs waiting to explode and destroy everything within range. No. That’s not how it works. Usually if we are going to destroy anyone/anything it’s ourselves/our lives.

Myth #2: Mental illness is a result of bad parenting.

Truth: This is ridiculous. If you know me then you know I have the best parents that anyone could ask for. They are loving and supporting and have always gone above and beyond to help me, especially when I began to have mental health problems. If you don’t know me, then you’re going to have to take me at my word here. But my point is that if someone has a mental illness that is in NO way, form or fashion a reflection on their parents.

Myth #3: Having a mental illness is not a real illness and you can just “get over it.”

Truth: I would honestly like to slap the next person I hear say that. For every individual that has ever told a depressed person to just get over it do me a favor and slap yourself right now. I’m serious. Do it. Ok, thank you, now I can move on. This is the absolute worst thing you could say to a mentally ill individual. Believe me when I say that if we could just “get over it” we would, very quickly. Life with a mental illness can definitely have its sucky days. I have been terrified hiding in a dorm room believing that someone was coming to attack me and I have been so depressed that I swallowed a bottle of Klonopin in order to kill myself. If I could have just “gotten over it” I would have. Telling someone to “get over it” implies that they are choosing to be the way they are. If this does anything at all it will make the suffering individual feel worse. So seriously people, don’t say that…ask them what’s going on, talk to them, be encouraging and if you don’t know how to do anything else just shut up and listen!

Myth #4: A person who is mentally ill will never be normal.

Truth: Ok seriously people? Really? Well first off I am probably the absolute worse person to put this myth to test on, I know that I am not normal by anyone’s standards, but really what is “normal.” Is normal holding down a 9-5 job, finding a spouse and raising kids? Then yes, I could do that and I believe the majority of individuals with a mental illness could most certainly accomplish these goals. I will say that they would probably need some guidance in these roles, initially at least, but I think that if you define normal by the above standard then yes mentally ill individuals can be normal. But now I have to ask you if you really want to be “normal?” I don’t. I mean yes I want the job and the kids one day, but I don’t want the cookie cutter version of it. I want to change the world, I want to leave a legacy behind when I breathe my last breathe, and I don’t think “normal” would cut it, in the case of these particular goals.

Myth #5: Mental health professionals are in it for the money.

Truth: HA! Really? Ok I have done the research because I actually do plan on becoming a mental health professional and trust me when I say I will not be getting rich doing it. I will be able to make a living, but I will most certainly NOT be living the high life while doing it. Honestly I picked it because of the above mentioned goals: I want to make a difference in this world and to the people in it. That and I seriously doubt there is ever a job shortage in this field. But really most of these people just want to help. They have good hearts and good intentions when they speak with you. They want to help make your life better and you shouldn’t be afraid to let them try. Now I’m not saying there isn’t a bad apple every once in a while (I have met some of these bad and smelly apples) but the professionals that I have chosen to trust and allow them to help me live my life as a healthy and vibrant young adult are really great people. I can honestly say that I would trust these individuals with my life, and in a lot of ways that is exactly what I am doing.

So that is the last rumor I want to debunk for now. I might come back to this topic later on, but it’s getting late and I have therapy in the morning and I should probably be awake for that, or he might wonder if I am in a dissociative state.

Love Randi