Who is the REAL Enemy?

I had a rough day today. I posted late last night about how God has been really ministering to me and I feel like I’m really becoming the woman He wants me to be in order to walk in the destiny He has for me. Then today.

I love how predictable the enemy is. I announced how amazing God is last night and then Satan attacked me where it hurts today. I sat in a meeting and listen to two people question my destiny this afternoon. I listened to them attack my competency academically, professionally and personally…and it really hurt. I tried with great effort to defend myself, but it fell upon deaf ears. And the most painful part was the familiarity of their argument. I thought, as tears fell down my face, oh God don’t let history repeat itself. Don’t get me wrong…I don’t believe these individuals view what they did as an attack…but it was. It was an attack on the things God has promised me...and it slashed deep. When they finished their attack they put on smiling faces, while I cried, and asked what they could do to help me get ready for class. I told them to leave me alone.

I called my therapist and sobbed…I was actually sobbing so hard he told me to stop and calm down because he couldn’t understand me. He listened and then he encourage…then he gave me a game plan…and then he prayed…I love that I have a praying therapist. So I went through class, head held high, and walked out with my dignity in place. After class a friend and I sat in my car and slowly my sorrow turned to anger. I was very angry. You see I hate when people hide their true intentions behind smiling faces and false pretenses. These people sing the good song…we care…we want you to succeed…blah, blah, blah. What they are truly saying is that they want to make sure the institution is protected and their job is secure. I get fed up with the lies about actually caring about me. Don’t get me wrong, I believe that these people really do believe that they care…I think they really have convinced themselves of this…but after all these years of hearing different people sing the same tune I have discerned to truth.

But then I called my momma. I got an awesome momma. She prays. She speaks truth…even when I want to punch her in the face for it. She’s fearless and fierce…I admire her so much. She is a genuine woman. What you see is what you get. She understands what’s important and what isn’t. She knows how to have fun and still love God. She taught me how to love God and have fun doing it. I love my momma. But yeah…I called momma. I vented…I was pissed…she listened calmly and then reminded me who the real enemy is. She reminded me that those two people aren’t who I should be angry at, and she’s right.

So I got angry with the devil. I was going to sit here and type out some scriptures of encouragement for myself, but on the way over hear I started singing a song I haven’t heard in...I’m pretty sure it’s been years. “Nothing is impossible for you, nothing is impossible...” And I stopped walking and said to myself…what am I singing? Because I honestly didn’t know…the song came from my soul…it wasn’t a conscious decision to sing it…it rose up out of the place inside me that sings of the things of God. So I sung a few more lines and realized what I was singing. I marched over to my laptop and opened iTunes…

Healer

You hold my very moment

You calm my raging seas

You walk with me through fire

And heal all my disease

I trust in You, I trust in You

I believe You're my healer

I believe You are all I need

I believe

And I believe You're my portion

I believe You're more than enough for me

Jesus You're all I need

You hold my very moment

You calm my raging seas

You walk with me through fire

And heal all my disease

I trust in You, Lord I trust in You

I believe You're my healer

I believe You are all I need

Oh, I believe

I believe You're my portion

I believe You're more than enough for me

Jesus You're all I need

Nothing is impossible for You

Nothing is impossible

Nothing is impossible for You

You hold my world in Your hands

I believe You're my healer

I believe You are all I need

Oh, yes You are, yes You are

And I believe You're my portion

Lord I believe You're more than enough for me

Jesus You're all I need

More than enough for me

Jesus You're all I need

You're my healer

I love God. I really do. My heart has been full of pain and doubt ever since that meeting...but God! J He walks with my through fire and heals all my disease! He is all that I need! He is more than enough for me! Nothing is impossible for Him! He is my healer and I stand firmly by the things He has promised me. So it’s on repeat and I sing it loud…and hope my neighbors sleep through it.

Thanks God for reminding me that You are here with me and as always You’re holding my hand.

Love, Randi