Cries for Help

I found myself placed with a difficult decision last night. I was given information that had me concerned for the wellbeing of an individual. This person told me about some dangerous activities that they were participating in. My heart ached for this guy and I immediately feared for his safety. But I also had to face the reality that taking action would lose me his friendship (most likely). You see the individual had previously stated malicious intentions against individuals that have wronged him in the past. I hated the idea that he would most likely develop these feelings toward me, but the end result was I didn’t give a rat’s booty. I would rather his wish me dead than hurt himself. That’s just who I am…I don’t think he would physically harm me, but I don’t doubt his capability to assure everyone he can that I am an “evil” individual out to get him. I did what I did out of love. This person needs help and I refuse to worry about how people will view me. My heart aches for him this morning and I hope that everyone reading this will lift this individual up in their prayers.

I don’t write this to lift myself up or reassure myself that I made the right decision. I write this because I want to encourage all my readers to make the right decision too. If someone comes to you and talks about self-harm or suicide take them seriously, even if you feel that they are just attention seeking, it could be a cry for help. And most of the time attention seeking is a cry for help. People who do things to gain someone’s attention are often times suffering deep emotional pain. These people do not know how to verbalize their overwhelming pain so they act out in the hope that someone will recognize how much they are hurting.

Now with that said because someone is participating in self-harm does not mean that they are suicidal. Self-harm is an outward expression of inward suffering. I will never say that you shouldn’t be concerned, but I would not react in proportion to self-harm intentions as I would suicidal intentions.

I have had personal experiences with both of these topics. I have sliced through my skin time and time again trying to take away the pain inside. I have lain in my bed in tears wishing for the energy to kill myself. I have actually attempted to kill myself. Like most individuals who attempt suicide, I was not thinking clearly and did not take enough of the pills I swallowed to accomplished my goal (thank God), but I did mess myself up for a few days. My closest friends and family will tell you I was not all there for about three days after what I did.

If you have been there, or maybe you are right there right now, then know there is hope. Turn to God but also use community resources. Seek professional help, do not fear what people will think or what will happen with the responsibilities of your life, because if you kill yourself, whether accidently or intentionally, then you will leave those responsibilities behind anyways. So would you rather put them aside temporarily and deal with your problems, or would you rather let your problems deal with you and possibly never experience the joy of life again.

So do not stand idly when you hear of someone hurting themselves or wanting to hurt themselves. Stand up on their behalf! They may hate you initially, God knows there are some people I don’t exactly like because of their interventions in my life, but in the long run it’s about you and the love and care they have for you. I want to see all of you succeed in life,

Love, Randi