Anxiety

She stands paralyzed. A wave has washed over hear. It has dragged her under and she fights her hardest for the surface. She needs oxygen. She fights waving her arms frantically, kicking with all her might, trying her hardest to reach the air. But the harder she fights the more she feels like she’s drowning. Everything inside her tenses as she prepares herself for certain death.

Anxiety. If you have never experienced the horrible sensations of it, then the above illustration is a good idea of what it’s like. I struggle with it to be honest. I go on walking through life and then something happens and its like, BAM! Then the anxiety overwhelms me and threatens to drown me. If you have never experienced it count your blessings. Anxiety is hard to deal with, that’s for sure.

For those of you who have suffered from anxiety you know what it’s like. You know those terrifying moments where you struggle to get a grip on yourself. You know what it’s like to tell someone you are anxious and have them tell you to get over it, or turn to God, or quote some scripture at you about putting all your cares on the Lord. These people mean well and the scriptures are true, of course, but what good do those statements actually do for you? If you are like me, I feel worse after one of those conversations than before they ever even spoke to me. You can feel guilty afterwards, like you’re not serving God as you should, or that you are weak because you are suffering while those around you appear to be fine. I use to let myself feel down when people would make these statements. I use to let their words inside of me and allow myself to suffer more. I had to come to the realization that this wasn’t going to do me any good. Once I got to that point I honestly got a little angry with these people. They would say things like “You have everything going for you, why would you be upset,” or my personal favorite, “There is no reason to feel that way.” If you are going to say things like to these people you are better off just keeping your mouth shut. But like I was saying I use to get angry at these people, but I had to come and realize that they weren’t meaning to hurt my feelings. These people aren't trying to be a hindrance, they are just ignorant people. If you are like me and you struggle sometimes with anxiety, you need to realize that these people truly do mean the best. 

Another thing you need to learn is that it is truly up to you whether or not you let their words hurt you. No one can make you feel a certain way. You are responsible for your emotions and only you. This is a hard thing to get your mind around, I know, I was there too. It is such a habit for me to say “You made me feel bad,” or “You make me so angry.” The truth is that you never made me feel anything. You may have said something and I felt angry at what you said, or I felt hurt by your words, but you did not make me feel anything. And when you realize these things you get your power back. When you realize that you control you, you gain power over your emotions back. I get on people’s nerves sometimes when I correct them in saying that “I didn’t make you feel anything.” Of course when they are angry at me is probably not the best time to say something like that, but hey, no one is perfect.

But back to my point, these people mean well. They just want to help you, but they don’t know what else to say. Sometimes the best thing you can do is tell a loved one what you need from them. Communication is the key in those situations. Instead of just telling someone you’re anxious, how about telling them that you are anxious and you need them to sit with you for a little while until you come down, or whatever you may be needing in that particular moment. You will be surprised how many people would jump at the chance to truly make a difference to you. The truth is that these people more than likely care, they just don’t know how to go about showing it.

If you are one of these people and you don’t know what to do when someone is struggling with anxiety or any other kind of struggle, sometimes the best thing you can do is just ask them what you can do to help. If they don’t know what they need, which can sometimes happen, just offer to sit with them and wait it out. A lot of times for me, just having someone there that cares makes a huge difference.

If you are someone that struggles with anxiety you need to know when to reach out. Sometimes you need to make a phone call and tell someone what is going on; you need to hear a friendly and loving voice. This can help because the thoughts in your head, during these moments are anything but friendly and loving.

There are a few practical things you can find. Try some relaxation breathing. If you don’t know any techniques get on the internet and look some up. There are plenty out there and you can try a few different ones to see what one works best for you. When you slow your breathing down you will calm down. It is physically impossible to be anxious if you slow your breathing down to a resting rate. When you take deep, slow breaths, you are sending a message to the part of your brain that generates anxiety that it is time to calm down. You are taking charge of your body, and not letting your body take charge of you.

Another thing you can try is focusing on what is around you. What do you see? What do you smell? What do you hear, taste and feel? Go through all of your senses and see what you can come up with and once you’re done, do it again. It can really help if you can get yourself focused.

Sometimes the best thing I can do is to go do something I enjoy doing. I love writing, so sometimes I write a poem, or just nonsense stuff. Sometimes I listen to calming music; a good worship mix I keep on my iPod is something I turn to a lot. I go sit with my dogs or read a book and if I can, I will go swimming. Exercise is a great way to clear your mind and get rid of anxiety.

Read some scripture. Pull out your Bible and just start reading. I love reading Psalms when I’m anxious. There is just something about reading David’s words that just calm me down and brighten my day.

And praying is also great. Talk to God and tell Him what is going on. He wants to listen to you. He wants to hear your troubles, God wants to hold you, comfort you, and take away your pain and suffering you just have to be willing to let Him move in your life. Some of my best conversations with God started when I was anxious.

Be willing to reach out to professionals if you need it. There are plenty of capable mental health professionals that can help you out. There are ways to get help even if you don’t have insurance (if you need a connection message me). If you suffer from anxiety frequently and it’s taking a toll on your daily activities then you more than likely need to seek a professional. And seeking professional help in no way makes you weak. When you are willing to admit you have a problem and need help I think you are incredibly strong. God wants to help you and sometimes that help comes in the form of other people.

So my point is there are ways to get past your anxiety. I understand that it’s hard. It’s easy to get stuck in those moments and feel like you won’t ever survive and thrive in your life. But that’s not true. You have the ability to overcome your struggles God has already equipped you with the weapons you need to win this battle. In fact it’s already won! God will never put more on your than you can handle.

Love, Randi