Cold Turkey

Withdraw sucks. Period. I’ve been told by my doctor for years that you don’t just quit psychotropic medications cold turkey. And I’ve read the research and the stories of people going through withdraw and having symptoms return and people just being down right miserable. I’ve heard it all. Today, I experienced it. It sucks. It’s miserable.

You see, I didn’t do it intentionally. The drugstore screwed me over. (Read yesterday’s post to get the down-low on that.) I ran out Monday night. I had half a dose left, so I took it and submitted an online refill request and planned on picking it up in the morning. Well, they called and said it had been delayed. So, I called them to find out what was going on. I know that sometimes they just don’t have the quantity of tablets I need, but they can always fill a partial and I get the rest later. This wasn’t the problem. No. Apparently my drugstore up and decided not to partner with my insurance anymore! Go figure! I received no notice of this of course…from neither the drugstore nor my insurance company…but this is of no surprise to me. I’ve discovered through the years of my mental health battles that insurance companies will do any and everything they can NOT to pay for medical expenses. (Bastards! You pay an arm and a leg’s worth of a monthly premium and then they expect you to dance through flaming hoops to get them to pay anything for you!) Anyways…I got online and immediately found a new drugstore. And then begun the battle of…TRANSFERS! Now you would think that the act of faxing a refill request from one drugstore to the next would be easily accomplished…you would think. I called back and forth from drugstore to drugstore for hours only to discover that EVERYONE had done THEIR PART and yet NO ONE could get me my medication! I eventually gave up for the night and went to bed without it.

I didn’t sleep. I tried, but the withdraw started about the time I laid down. It felt like I was getting the flu. Cold sweats. Shivering. Shaking. Dizziness. Insomnia. And just plain misery.

Well, by chance I had an appointment with my psychiatrist today so when I got to her I asked her to write a script for every one of my meds so that I wouldn’t have to bother anyone with another transfer situation. This is an experience I will NOT be repeating.

So yeah, for those of you crazy people that want to take your use of medications into your own hands by ignoring doctor’s orders…you’re crazy! Don’t do it. It’s misery!

Love, Randi