Tonight my parents and I were discussing patience. In my
family we all have varying levels of patience for different things. Mom is
pretty impatient about everything…and she would be the first to tell you so.
Dad can have endless patience with certain things but when it comes to driving
and having to explain to people how to do things…he reaches his limits really
fast. My brother…well…he’s kind of like momma there. (But don’t tell him I told
you so!) As for me…I’m kind of like my dad…I am a relatively patient individual
about most things…BUT…when it comes to bad drivers and incompetence I get fed
up pretty quick.
Now, I’m pretty sure all of you that have ever driven
basically anywhere are aware that there are people driving that have no
business behind the wheel and are honestly a time bomb to society…so I won’t
really go into that…but let me talk about my pet peeve with incompetence. So
what really gets underneath my skin is when people don’t do their jobs as they
should be done. I can give most people up to two chances before I’ve had it
though. And today…I came close to losing it again.
First off, part of this is my fault. I usually take care of
my medication refills a week in advance to avoid any sort of pharmacy/doctor
office/insurance company disaster. Well, this week I messed up. I went to take
my meds last night and realized that I only had half a dose of one of them. Now
for some of you this may not seem like too big of a deal…but to any of you that
have ever had any experience with psychotropic medications you know that
missing even one dose can throw you for a loop. Well, I convinced myself that I
would be fine and I would just get up in the morning and take care of getting the
prescription refilled then. Before I went to bed, I submitted an online refill
request and made a mental note to check on it in the morning.
Well, around 9 this past morning I missed a call from the
drugstore. I checked my voicemail and they said that one of my prescriptions was
being delayed. So, I called in and found out that my insurance plan is no
longer a partner with my drugstore. I made a sarcastic remark and hung up the
phone and jumped into action. I went online, found a drugstore that accepted my
plan, made sure all my meds were still covered under my plan and called the new
pharmacy to get things transferred over. The lady on the phone assured me with
ease that this transaction would be simple and easily accomplished. NOTHING IS
EVER SIMPLE AND EASILY ACCOMPLISHED BETWEEN DRUGSTORES! I knew this, but I
allowed myself to be engulfed by wishful thinking and let the time slip by.
Well, when I hadn’t heard anything by 6 in the evening, I called the new
drugstore…and this phone call started what I will refer to as “The Walgreens
vs. CVS Tennis Match!” These two drugstores are LITERLLY across the street from
one another and they never did finish transferring my prescription. I called
back and forth and was astounded that everyone had done their part, but NO ONE
could get me my medication.
So, here I sit in the wee hours of the morning feeling dizzy
and a bit nauseous because withdraw has started to set in. I sit here and
contemplate what I will be doing in the morning. Will I chew off the ear of
CVS? Or perhaps Walgreens should receive the brunt of my wrath? And as time
clicks forward I can’t help but wonder if some of the symptoms of my disorder
will start to resurface before I can get the medication back in my system. But
at the same time I’m enjoying the lack of the drowsiness that the medication
causes. I mean…I’ve been thinking about talking with my doctor about getting
off this and trying something else for a while because of how drowsy it makes
me. It’s awful how sleepy it makes you. I can literally fall asleep on the
potty! It’s horribly embarrassing to be a grown woman and get yelled at for
sleeping in the bathroom again. I hate it. And I spent time with my friends
this weekend and I slept most of the day away each day. I mean it really sucks.
So, I’m wondering if maybe I should just take this as a sign
that I need to try something different…something that won’t make me miss out on
so much of life. I mean I know that this is pretty much the first medicine that
has completely worked for me, but I just don’t think the amount of success it’s
having outweighs how much of life I’m missing out on because of it.
I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow. It’s actually
just a coincidence…but I’m kind of wondering if it an opportunity presented by
God…maybe it’s time for me to be brave and make a change. I want to be sane. I
don’t want to be frightened, paranoid, manic and/or hallucinating, but I do
want to be mindfully aware of my surroundings and the life that I have.
So, I’m sitting here wondering what I should do in the
morning. Do I call the pharmacy and figure this thing out with the meds? Or do
I wait a few hours and talk to my doctor? Only God knows what the morning will
hold…
Love, Randi
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