To be or not to be...drugged that is?


Tonight my parents and I were discussing patience. In my family we all have varying levels of patience for different things. Mom is pretty impatient about everything…and she would be the first to tell you so. Dad can have endless patience with certain things but when it comes to driving and having to explain to people how to do things…he reaches his limits really fast. My brother…well…he’s kind of like momma there. (But don’t tell him I told you so!) As for me…I’m kind of like my dad…I am a relatively patient individual about most things…BUT…when it comes to bad drivers and incompetence I get fed up pretty quick.

Now, I’m pretty sure all of you that have ever driven basically anywhere are aware that there are people driving that have no business behind the wheel and are honestly a time bomb to society…so I won’t really go into that…but let me talk about my pet peeve with incompetence. So what really gets underneath my skin is when people don’t do their jobs as they should be done. I can give most people up to two chances before I’ve had it though. And today…I came close to losing it again.

First off, part of this is my fault. I usually take care of my medication refills a week in advance to avoid any sort of pharmacy/doctor office/insurance company disaster. Well, this week I messed up. I went to take my meds last night and realized that I only had half a dose of one of them. Now for some of you this may not seem like too big of a deal…but to any of you that have ever had any experience with psychotropic medications you know that missing even one dose can throw you for a loop. Well, I convinced myself that I would be fine and I would just get up in the morning and take care of getting the prescription refilled then. Before I went to bed, I submitted an online refill request and made a mental note to check on it in the morning.

Well, around 9 this past morning I missed a call from the drugstore. I checked my voicemail and they said that one of my prescriptions was being delayed. So, I called in and found out that my insurance plan is no longer a partner with my drugstore. I made a sarcastic remark and hung up the phone and jumped into action. I went online, found a drugstore that accepted my plan, made sure all my meds were still covered under my plan and called the new pharmacy to get things transferred over. The lady on the phone assured me with ease that this transaction would be simple and easily accomplished. NOTHING IS EVER SIMPLE AND EASILY ACCOMPLISHED BETWEEN DRUGSTORES! I knew this, but I allowed myself to be engulfed by wishful thinking and let the time slip by. Well, when I hadn’t heard anything by 6 in the evening, I called the new drugstore…and this phone call started what I will refer to as “The Walgreens vs. CVS Tennis Match!” These two drugstores are LITERLLY across the street from one another and they never did finish transferring my prescription. I called back and forth and was astounded that everyone had done their part, but NO ONE could get me my medication.

So, here I sit in the wee hours of the morning feeling dizzy and a bit nauseous because withdraw has started to set in. I sit here and contemplate what I will be doing in the morning. Will I chew off the ear of CVS? Or perhaps Walgreens should receive the brunt of my wrath? And as time clicks forward I can’t help but wonder if some of the symptoms of my disorder will start to resurface before I can get the medication back in my system. But at the same time I’m enjoying the lack of the drowsiness that the medication causes. I mean…I’ve been thinking about talking with my doctor about getting off this and trying something else for a while because of how drowsy it makes me. It’s awful how sleepy it makes you. I can literally fall asleep on the potty! It’s horribly embarrassing to be a grown woman and get yelled at for sleeping in the bathroom again. I hate it. And I spent time with my friends this weekend and I slept most of the day away each day. I mean it really sucks.

So, I’m wondering if maybe I should just take this as a sign that I need to try something different…something that won’t make me miss out on so much of life. I mean I know that this is pretty much the first medicine that has completely worked for me, but I just don’t think the amount of success it’s having outweighs how much of life I’m missing out on because of it.

I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow. It’s actually just a coincidence…but I’m kind of wondering if it an opportunity presented by God…maybe it’s time for me to be brave and make a change. I want to be sane. I don’t want to be frightened, paranoid, manic and/or hallucinating, but I do want to be mindfully aware of my surroundings and the life that I have.

So, I’m sitting here wondering what I should do in the morning. Do I call the pharmacy and figure this thing out with the meds? Or do I wait a few hours and talk to my doctor? Only God knows what the morning will hold…

Love, Randi

0 comments:

Post a Comment

 
Finding Life © 2012 | Designed by Rumah Dijual, in collaboration with Buy Dofollow Links! =) , Lastminutes and Ambien Side Effects