Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

I’ve been reading Lioness Arising with the women’s connect group at my church and I have to say I love it. These are some awesome women of faith and I enjoy being in their company each week but I have to wonder if they know how awesome they truly are. I was observing them tonight and I took notice of the different ladies in the group. There were those like me sitting alone and patiently waiting for the group to start. There were several laughing and carrying on and then there were a few more intimate conversations going on. I have been watching these ladies for a few weeks now and I see the pattern forming. The one’s that are talkative and outgoing seem to flock to one another and those who prefer a more solitary environment end up by themselves. And I have to admit I am a part of this. I like to sit on the end of the row by myself and I voice my thoughts on occasion and with much apprehension. In my mind I am still new to this church and new to these women and I do not want them to get the wrong impression of me. I am very opinionated and I can sometimes come off as forceful and a bit of a know-it-all and I don’t want these ladies to see what I see in the mirror every day.

I see my flaws when I look in the mirror. I’m 25 and still have horrible acne, I have scars all over my stomach, arms and legs because of cutting for years and from constantly picking at bug bites on me. I know how I can seem to people and these women are more…seasoned than me and I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes. I think that each and every one of them has something special to offer the group and I would hate to say something that would close the door for me to gain wisdom from them. I would also hate to see their own insecurities hinder them from the opportunity to connect and grow in the presence of such powerful, anointed and faithful women.

But I was sitting there tonight during discussion with a thought running through my head and I wanted to say something but I kept shutting myself down because of this fear that I have of what these women will think of me. I pushed my own thoughts and emotions away and centered my focus on the conversation but that thought kept running through my head. Eventually I swallowed my fear and spoke up. I don’t know if anyone of them understood what I was saying or even cared but I don't think that was God's point. I said it and I think that I by letting my young voice sound I put a chip in the wall of fear that I have about what people think of me.

So this got me to thinking about the other women in the room. That quite and beautiful lady who sits by herself each night, I am always wondering what’s going through her mind. She might not think I would find it interesting but the truth is I would. I love to hear other people’s thoughts. The truth is that if you think it’s important enough to say then I think it’s important enough to listen to. How many of us don’t say what’s on our minds, or do what’s in our heart out of fear? I know I am guilty of this.

And that brings me to something that has been discussed in this Bible Study I am in: we are fearfully and wonderfully made. I know I just quoted an over-quoted scripture but how often do we really act like we are fearfully and wonderfully made? If I am honest with myself it doesn’t happen very often. What if I walked around every day and acted like I really believed that this scripture was true? I know one thing…I wouldn’t have given talking tonight a second thought!

In the Lioness Arising it talks about how the lioness is both a nurturer and a hunter, that the very part of her body that she uses to rip her prey to shreds she uses to carry her young to safety. Wow! The power of the lioness is astounding to me. The more I find out about her the more fascinated I become with myself. I want to be like this lioness. I want to inspire both fear and wonder with my presence like the lioness.

My connect group leader tonight spoke of a situation where she was requested to speak positive things about another individual and then about herself. Then she was instructed to speak negative things about another individual then herself. The sad thing is that I bet every woman reading this knows how that went. She found it easy to speak positive things about the other, but not about herself and she found it easy to say negative things about herself but not about the other. I can totally relate to this. I find it so easy to build other people up and tear myself down and I was thinking of how many amazing women I have heard do this and it broke my heart. Is this behavior acting like we believe that we are fearfully and wonderfully made? I think not.

So if we truly believe that we are fearfully and wonderfully made then I wonder how is it that we so easily tear ourselves down? I have never heard of a lioness with low self-esteem. That would be a ridiculous sight: to see a magnificent creature such as a lioness wandering around the jungle head hung low dragging her paws across the jungle floor as though she is already defeated. But to me that is how crazy this idea of women tearing themselves down is. When God looks at us He sees His fearfully and wonderfully made creation and it breaks His heart when we tear ourselves down.

So I dare you to act like you believe this scripture. Hold your head high beloved one. Pull those shoulders back and straighten up! Take your stance because you inspire both fear and wonder. You have power that can both nurture and destroy. I see you through the eyes of Christ and it is time that you started seeing you that way. I am ready to see a lioness arising in all of you! Love,

Love, Randi

Reference: Lioness Arising by Lisa Bevere